Why I haven’t taken a “better” photo in years
February 2017: My mom was planning her trip to Korea to see me so that I could accompany her to Cambodia after the end of my contract at Lykeion, I had just sent paperwork to Japan for my next job and had to acknowledge that what I considered my life for the last year including my job, home, and relationship would all end on the same day in two weeks. Anyone who has known me for the last couple of years would have a hard time believing that I used to find it troublesome to take photos and that my camera sat on the shelf most of the time I was in Korea. As fresh and vibrant as it was upon my arrival, Korea just became home and I regret feeling that way as I think I could have created, experienced and done a lot more by not slipping into that level of complacency. After acknowledging how soon the end of everything that was a constant in my life for the last year, I set out nervously to try and capture everything I loved about Korea in visual form.
I remember exactly what was going on when I shot this. I approached Hwaseong fortress by foot from its Eastern side on a still chilly night and was trying to decide how to best capture it. I barely knew how to use my camera and words like F-stop, ISO, and aperture were completely unfamiliar. The camera was set up on the rickety tripod that came with it as a “free gift” and felt about as stable as something I could make from popsicle sticks. The camera was pointed straight at the fortress from eye level which compositionally, might not be something I would do today. My technical skills and photographic knowledge evolved vastly since, but this photo, technically imperfect as it may be (I clipped the highlights and it was shot in jpeg), and as close to the beginning of my photographic journey as it took place, is still my favorite. This is in spite of the fact that it lacks hallmarks of “my style.” The memories of my time in Korea that it brings to the surface, the way it visually represents how that year felt like it flew by, the juxtaposition of rapid progress yet being firmly rooted in its past that perfectly captured how I perceived the country, and the other emotions that looking at it evokes make this photo stand out above any other I have taken. The shutter count on that camera has increased by 10,000 and I went to six other countries after, yet not one photo taken since has possessed the visual and emotional impact that this one does on me and the quote “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” truly makes sense as my eyes fall upon it every subsequent time. Obviously, everything I mentioned here is subjective and it probably looks unremarkable to anyone else, but that is the nature of art is it not?
It may even seem silly that I avoided just looking at it for quite some time in order to not be tempted to go back to Korea and delay my career in the states for yet another excruciating year per family pressure.
Thinking about this really strikes at some ideas that were communicated to me by watching street photographer Eric Kim talking about not caring too much about social media and technical perfection in every photo and his suggestion to shoot for yourself and your own satisfaction (On your own time of course. If you have a client, listen to them). There are photos that I have personally taken with ten times more likes, thumbs, favs or whatever that have little meaning to me. It’s unrealistic that every photo you take is going to blow people away, but the more you take, the more special photos and memories you will have and at the end of the day, that aspect is still what matters most to me about photography. As years go on and things are less fresh in my memory, the importance of preserving things in written and visual form has increased and ties in with why this piece is written. Until we have memory implants like Total Recall, this blog is probably going to be the closest thing to an external backup of my memories.
Miscellaneous:
It’s probably implied, but I shot this on my beginner camera: The a6000 and with the kit lens.
I’m only showing a little bit of Hwaseong Fortress in this picture. You could spend practically the entire day walking its perimeter and it’s a UNESCO world heritage site. The views of the city from its vantage points are breathtaking in a unique way.
This piece was originally written on my other blog that was more about my personal experiences and thoughts on Asian culture.
